A friend from back home in San Diego emailed me this week and asked if it was “rat’s ass cold” over here on the East Coast yet. I was happy to report that the weather was a beautiful Maryland fall, crisp and colorful. I then proceeded to inform my friend that I had no knowledge of the average temperature in the rectal region of a rat. And therefore was unable to report on any similarities in our climate.
This got me thinking about the things we say. Those funny little colloquialisms that make no sense at all. For example “Cold as hell”. It’s been a while since the days of my confirmation classes but I seem to recall something about “burning in the eternal flames of hell”. One would think that cold wouldn’t really be an issue there. In that case a snow ball might have a great chance in hell.
“I worked my ass off”… oh if only this were the case. I work and work but to no avail! “She/He eats like a bird” in actuality most birds eat more than their body weight daily. It seems that my metabolism gets this one before my brain catches on. “Thunder struck” if the movie Twister taught us anything (other than NEVER to move into tornado ally) it was that lighting strikes not thunder. I’m a big wimp with storms and wouldn’t get struck by either because I’d be hiding in the crawl space under the stairs in my basement, thank you very much.
I’m sure that I could go on and on here.. Alas I’ve got dishes to do, lest my house become a pig pen.