When Hillbilly Dhun said she’d be taking her version of Mr. Toad’s wild ride, bloggy style, I was intrigued. Then she went and said she’d like ME (little ol’ Nuggety me) to be in on it as things get curiouser and curiouser, I was HONORED. So now I fore go a day of Pitchin’ Fits (as it IS Fit Pitchin’ Friday), to bring you… The Hillbilly who fell down the Holler hole….
Somehow after falling down a holler hole, I’ve found myself first, HERE and then HERE and now after wondering the garden and going deeper into these strange woods, I’ve come upon a house. Strange to find a house sitting in the middle of the woods, but being as I’ve walked all this way, I kinda had to tinkle and was in a big way hungry, it wouldn’t hurt to knock upon the door.
Just as I had my hand up to knock, the rabbit, oh, that little vermin, he flung the door open, ran passed me and said, “I’m late, I mustn’t be late!” And was, quick as a wink, gone from my view.
“What the?” I said out loud to the now open door to the house in the middle of the woods. “Freak. Where’s he late to anyway?” And remembered just then, or rather, my bladder reminded me that I must use the powder room quick as I could, I stumbled across the threshold of the rabbits lovely home and wondered about until I found something that resembled a bathroom.
Once relieved, I took it upon myself to wonder about the rabbits house. If you could imagine a doll house, that some little girl took great care in keeping everything in place, that’s what I found there. Little gloves, and little hats, a pocket watch lying just so on a nearby table. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I touched everything. It’s a curious thing to be down a holler hole in a rabbits home.
Just then my stomach growled. Like a fierce lion in the woods. The rabbit didn’t have anything that looked remotely like a kitchen, but I recall passing a tree outside that looked like it held some sort of fruit that might be good enough to eat, so I found my way to the door again, to wonder out and find nestled in the rabbits front yard a long table.
At one end sat a lady with an enormous hat, a Hare that looked a little familiar in the face, that wore daisy chain about her head. I crept closer. The table was full of food. There was chocolate cupcakes neatly stacked on a white plate. A bowl of popcorn, some martini glasses that looked as though their were chicken nuggets stuck to the side of the glass, where you would normally put a lemon wedge or a slice of lime.
The contents went on and on. Though curiosity got the better of me, and I crept closer still.
“Who are you?” Barked out the lady in the hat.
“I’m Hillbilly Duhn. Who are you?” I asked edging closer to the table to finger the chocolate cupcakes. My stomach was all about growling and making my mouth water like the babbling brook in Australia.
“I am, ” The lady stood, “The Mad Nuggetier, and this here is my Tea Party.” She motioned to the table and her guests. “And you, my dear have come uninvited.”
“Be that as it may, Mad Nuggetier, I’m really quite hungry.” I pleaded with my eyes, never taking one of them off the chocolate cupcakes.
“Well, you can’t. We have no room.” Nuggetier clipped out..
“Well, sure you do, there’s an entire table not being used, while the three of you sit at one end.” I motioned to the table. “Besides, why are you all at one end?”
“Why are you here?” Asked the familiar looking hare with the daisy chain on her head.
“I sort of followed a rabbit down a holler hole.” I shrugged reaching for a cupcake.
“I wouldn’t do that.” Said the hare. And I looked that hare right in the eye, and it dawned on me who the hare was. It’s Random Hiccups from Africa! I said as much out loud.
“No, you have me mistaken.” Said the hare nonchalantly..
“Surely I haven’t mistaken anyone, I recall your face.” I said unwrapping the foil from the cupcake.
The Mad Nuggetier leaned over and whispered something to the Hare, and they both tapped the mouse, who I hadn’t noticed before lying between them, and they all silently watched me as I took a bite of the cupcake.
I felt a little funny then. Though the cupcake sure did taste nice. I hadn’t realized that I closed my eyes while chewing, but discovered when I opened them, that I had grown pretty large. I knocked over several chairs, tipped the table a little too, if it hadn’t been for the Mad Nuggetier holding that side down, I’m sure all the contents on the top would have ended up in their laps.
“Now look what you’ve gone and done!” Said the Hare who resembled Random Hiccups.
I looked at the Mad Nuggetier who was rummaging in her pocket, when she produced a bottle that she handed over. I took it. On the stopper was a little tag that read, “Drink Me” and before I could question what it was, Nuggetier barked out, “Drink it quick now, before you get your nasty hillbilly toes in my Nugget Martini!”
And so, I drank the contents quickly, as not to put my toes in any-ones drinks. It tasted different then the last one, this one tasting of lemons and lollipops. Again, I felt funny, but realized that I was shrinking back to normal size.
“Now, see here, you silly Hillbilly,” Said the Mad Nuggetier, “if I let you join my tea party, will you stop wrecking things?”
“I didn’t mean to wreck anything I was just hungry is all.” I said a bit queerly. I felt a little embarrassed as to all the mischief I’ve caused.
“Drink this, it will take the edge off.” The Nuggetier handed me a nugget martini.
“Or cause more edges.” Snickered the Hare as the little mouse rolled his eyes.
I had drank three nugget martini’s, when I heard a snickering behind me. I turned around to see the Koala with the extra large smile, (if you can imagine a large smile too big for a Koala’s face) from the sign back in Australia.
He was floating in mid air, or at least his head was, and not even his whole head, an ear was missing.
“Say, where’s the rest of your body?” I asked putting down my martini glass, and finding I was a bit dizzy from consuming so many of them.
“Say, where’s the rest of your body?” Asked the big smiling Koala, who at this point, I swear was indeed ScoMan.
“What?” I asked looking down at my body that hadn’t disappeared at all.
“Never mind.” Said the Koala. “Silly Hillbilly.. Drank too many Nugget Martini’s.”
This got a laugh from the Mad Nuggetier and the Hare. The mouse just yawned.
And as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared. Whatever, I thought. Chriminey, now I’m tipsy and in a world that is strange.
I turned around to ask the Mad Nuggetier if she knew anything about the strange rabbit, when that strange rabbit, seemed to run by in a hurry, causing me to blink several times. Without further thought, I ran after him…