ABC or KGB?

This just in from the experts (creepy guys) at Spy Gear For You….

Covert Eavesdropping or Bugging Are you a potential target? If eavesdropping on anything you say, write, or do could increase someone else’s wealth or influence, then the answer must be yes, you are a potential target.


Taking this obviously professional and highly credible advice and drawing upon my past life in the intelligence field I’ve come to the conclusion that ABC TV is bugging my house. It’s pretty serious too. They haven’t just tapped the phones I suspect that several of the three zillion stuffed animals in our house have nanny cams in them. The new collars I just purchased for the cats go under the MRI later today in search of nano technology. I KNOW big brother is watching! How do I know this?

I know because I watched ABC’s new show, “The Middle”, last night and it was MY LIFE there on the TV screen! They HAVE to be bugging my house. Sure the following can be said of most teenage boys, “He hibernates in his room coming out only to forage thorough my kitchen and make sarcastic comments”.. BUT they even nailed my teenage son’s habit of walking into the kitchen in nothing but his his boxers, drinking milk from the container AND making rude comments about how there are no chips in the house. That’s a little to specific for mere coincidence! It didn’t stop there though even the dad complained about the lack of chips, sounds familiar. I swear it was almost surreal. Patricia Heaton plays the frazzled, over worked, under organized, self doubting mom.. aka ME. I was quite literally in tears at a scene where she walks into the house with bags of fast food, tosses them on the table and announces “I made dinner”. Then as her family members grab bags and walk off she says “Hey get back in here we eat as a family”. AGAIN, that’s MY tag line.. heck even my 3 year old said “Mommy she talks just like you”. The similarities don’t stop there though gang, the daughter is kind, has a big heart and no noticeable talent. Though my 10 year old is very smart and a great artist, she has quit everything from softball to ice skating and has all the coordination of a new born horse. The youngest son on the show has a habit of using a funny voice to repeat words. NO FREAKING WAY! My four year old will happen upon a word that he finds funny and assign it it’s own inflection. For example he thinks You and Ewe are hilarious and he’ll draw them out saying thing like “I love EEEEUUUUUU!”. The kid on the show even has a thing for patting his teacher on her rather large ample bosom, um HELLO ABC THAT IS MY KID’S SHTICK! They even added a stinger, sort of a “we know, you know but no body is going to believe you” moment. The family gathers together to eat dinner on the sofa watching… DANCING WITH THE STARS note to ABC, if you are reading this post, and I KNOW you are. The results show is annoying, too long and not really necessary. I mean I LOVE Tom Bergeron,he knows this, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, I’m just sayin’. I laughed so hard that I will be out looking for grown up pull-ups potty pants today so there are no mishaps while watching next week’s episode of The Middle, TMI?

We are lucky I live near the national headquarters of the NSA. I think they might be intrested in the notion that media outlets are conducting covert opperations on “normal” American families in an effort to get better ratings! I leave you with this… a clip of my life, brought to you by ABC. Hey ABC now we’re watching you! Oh wait that’s totally playing into their hands, it’s a trap!


Oh one more thing, after last night’s show my teenager said to the room “You know she is SO gonna blog the crap out of this!”. ABC, if the mom on the show starts to write a blog, I’m getting a lawyer!


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