This week in SPAM

Since moving from Blogger to Word Press I’ve had to work through a few “issues”. Like losing over 800 RSS subscribers -not bitter, not- having to deal with the sharp drop off in comments (the Paxil & vodka are taking care of that, no worries). Google isn’t speaking to me anymore, and is so butt hurt by the break up that they’ve revoked my Friend Connect.

On the upside I’m killing in the spam comment department. I tell ya I’m like stank on a dead monkey in-a-van-down-by-the-river to these people, effing irresistible! Sure there are your run of the mill, “Hot, desperate housewives, get it hard” and “Lonely singles in your area ready to stalk and kill chat with you”. Others are less enticing, like the slackers who just leave a link to their mortgage loan companies. Still there are a few out there that make me step away from the Mother’s Cure and say “WAH?”. Here are just a few of my personal favs:

“Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thinks about this, I am really fan of your blog…” um yeah, glad you’re such a “fan” but I only “PM” my husband, thankyouverymuch.

“Let’s start with stating that if a person world wide web not to mention try to find most of these stipulations “quick fat loss” or simply “how to lose excess fat quickly” you can find large amounts of results will appear.” You had me at “quick fat loss” where do I sign up for that “stipulation” with the one person “world wide web”?  Because “large amounts of results” -from eating cheese- have already appeared. ON. MY. ASS.

“If you have an expirience with making graphic to web on-line shop please let me know. I’m looking for somebady hwo can create and implement graphics to on-line shop” Whoa whoa, slow down buddy. Let’s start with a dictionary then we’ll think about moving on to “making graphic” okay?

See I don’t need you people to comment anymore (NOT) I’ve got super cool new friends who love me for who I am: Fat, illiterate and easy!


10 thoughts on “This week in SPAM”

  1. I get cool stuff like that all the time. I read them and look at the post them wonder what the two could possibly have to do with each other. For instance:
    “Completely understand what your stance in this matter. Although I would disagree on some of the finer details, I think you did an awesome job explaining it. Sure beats having to research it on my own. Thanks” (this was posted for the store link)
    “Dude I finally came across it. Looks like this one is actually reputable sport betting site I can depend on. All I needed to do was look in from of me. I only prayhope I can make as much dinero as you all. So, what do you all think about Monday?” (this was another store lin post)
    My favs are the male/female enhancements… like I freaking care who can do what at this point in my life. That is subject to change though so maybe I should jot a few down (just in case).
    As always, you are funny and entertaining sweetie!

    1. Hey don’t ever dismiss those enhancers.. you never know when you’ll have a really great date stop, terribly short. Justsayin’

  2. Oh sister you ain’t seen nothing yet!!! It gets better!!!

    However, I would like to see you broadcast live the effects of “Paxil and Vodka” I am going out on a limb here, but that should make for some great laughs!!

    ~C

  3. I JUST started a blog with blogger and I almost used wordpress at first—now I’m glad I didn’t—although, it is always fun meeting new friends who just have your best interest at heart…LOL. Sorry! It’s great that you can take something irritating and make it funny 🙂 Good luck with taming your new friends! You’ll have to post how you do it!

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