Listen to Your Mothah..

Twelve years ago today my life changed forever when, a Russian immigrant, middle aged man, completely self involved with a dangling gold earring in ONE ear -yes it was a cheesy as you’re imagining right now- gave me a gift beyond measure. My first daughter. The guy was my obstetrician, just so ya know.

I’d had six years to get used to the mom gig thanks to my son. We were pals (still are). He and I went everywhere together, rocked it out to Elmo’s World and boycotted Barney as a team. Then along she came. And much to my surprise there was room for one more in the band.

As the years have passed -in the blink of an eye- I’ve learned a few things about the world of mothers and daughters. I think Alice put it best when she coined the phrase “Curiouser and curiouser”. So on this day, where she will celebrate apart from me for the first time… at the mall with her “girls” I thought it apropos to gift her with a little bit-o-THE-wisdom in hopes that as she dips her toes into the pool of womanhood it might do her some good (and maybe keep her from hating me for the next seven or so years of her life).

  • There are few things in a woman’s life that are not made better by chocolate.. keep some handy.
  • The power of your mother’s hug never expires nor does it run out. Use it often.
  • Your mother has x-ray vision. She can see how amazing you are even when others -including yourself- can’t.
  • A broken heart can lead you to the treasure within.
  • Never. NEVER. Underestimate the value of a good bra!
  • Others may think they know you, they may use that falsehood to try and bring you down, but ONLY you know yourself and therefore you can only be broken if you allow it. SO DON’T!
  • Sparkly vampires may be hot and all but a good friend is better than any boyfriend.
  • If your mom makes you mad -and she will- it’s the circle of life Simba, deal with it. But remember no matter how mad she made you, SHE MADE YOU! And loves you.
  • You can do anything. Honestly. But you’ll have to work hard, nothing worth getting has ever been given and not earned.

Happy birthday baby girl. Thank you so much for making me part of the mother-daughter club. You are amazing.. don’t know how that happened.. it wasn’t my doing.. but I am so proud of you, the person you are and the woman you’re becoming. Now go clean your room!

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