Move Over Dr. House

A conversation initiated by Lil Nugget #4 (four years old) from the back seat of the car on the way to the gym:

Lil Nugget: “Mommy do boys have balls?”

Me (trying not to spit coffee all over the dashboard): “Sure sweetie. They have baseballs, footballs…”

Lil Nugget: “NO! Not THOSE kind of BALLS MOM!”

Me (highly concerned about the direction of this conversation): “Well….um…uh…” <—handled that really well didn’t I?

Lil Nugget: “You know, those hangy things, they are balls. Right?”

Let me just interject here, before we get too concerned about where she gets this stuff. First off she and her six year old brother still get a joint bath (I’m lazy like that). Also, I suspect that my 17 year old son might have found it amusing to teach his younger brother this term.

Me (In my best interpretation of how I think Dr. Spock would handle this): “No sweetie, there is no part of a boy’s body that is called his “balls”. The things you’re talking about are called testicles.”

Lil Nugget: “Eeewwww, testicles, that is a yucky word. Who named them that?! Balls is better!”

Me (increasingly short of breath from trying to stifle laughter): “Well I’m not sure who named them that, but that IS their name. Let’s not call them balls okay?”

Lil Nugget: “I want to ask daddy. He has some doesn’t he?”

Me (relishing this call to daddy AT WORK):  “Sure you can call him.”

Lil Nugget (on the phone to The DH): “Daddy are those hangy thingies you have called balls?”

OH MAN HOW I WISH HE’D BEEN ON SPEAKER PHONE!

Minimal pause…

Lil Nugget: “I want to know because I’m going to be a doctor. So if they are called testicles what is that line thing called”

I’m not sure exactly what her father answered. I do know that he was NOT as cool as I was in the laughter department. She went on the rest of the day asking about other body parts, far less “touchy” ones. Now I’m just waiting for the call from the preschool telling me that other parents are calling asking why my four year old was holding anatomy lectures -debunking the “balls” issue- on the playground.

Some days being a parent is better than tickets to The Daily Show!

2 thoughts on “Move Over Dr. House”

  1. When Ashley was in kindergarten (she’s 22 now), she gave me an anatomy lesson while we were cruising down I-95. She ask if I knew that boys had penises and girls had vagina’s. Apparently the teacher felt that if you were going to refer to body parts, you should use the correct term. I almost rear-ended the car in front of me!

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