Much like my keys, sunglasses and cash when there is a teenager near, I just can’t find my mojo. Which begs the question…
Did. I. Ever. Have. It?
Maybe. Who knows? In my own head I had it at one point. Upon further contemplation, the last time I recall it being in firmly my possession may have been somewhere around 1989. It’s possible I left it in my acid washed Guess Jeans.
A fashion faux pas of presidential proportions?
Then again maybe -stick with me here this could get a little messy- the “after birth” is at fault. No not literally the biological matter that is left behind, but all the mojo sucking things that come after giving birth.
Lara circa B.C. (Before Children) would have rather been rolled in Nutella and drug through a nest of fire ants than be seen in public…
- Sans shower
- Without makeup
- In the same outfit two times in the same WEEK
- Hair unkempt
Post birthing Mojo Sucking Symbionts, I am entirely copacetic with any combination of the following…
- Bi-daily showering
- Dark circles count as eye “shadow”, right?
- A chic pony (up the volume by not brushing your hair first)
- Yoga pants have a three day expiration date. True.
- Hey if the leader of the free world can wear them -and I buy them on sale at Khol’s and use my 30% coupon and $10 in Khol’s cash, well then I’m totally a kick ass flipin’ Fash-a-Frugal-ista- BOOM!
Maybe one is not entitled to mojo retention when their day starts at 5 a.m. with copious amounts of coffee so that one can tend to the every whim of others, maintain a passably clean home (mold isn’t dangerous, is it?), feed everything from felines to family, run endlessly pointless errands, work to make a money that can then be spent on $100 Lucky Brand jeans (not for self, natch) and end with making endless mental lists (at 3 a.m.) of what one must accomplish the next day.
Where did my mojo go? THEY. SUCKED. IT. OUT!
So how do I get it back. Seriously, how?