In the immortal words of Miss Truvy, “Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin’ across your face”.
I used to think this was just a witty quip from a classic chick flick. Soon after turning 40 last year, I realized that this is in fact a truth. About five minutes after that little epiphany I went into full panic mode. [meaning I threw myself on the floor and wallowed in self pity at the squandering of my youth]
Two weeks later I got off the floor, resolved to take action. I simply refuse to go silently into that good night, dammit! I formed a plan that included the following five tricks –nuggets of wisdom if you will- for out foxing father time;
Tried this, it worked for two or three days. That said, I find that some warm milk -laced with copious amounts of rum and chased with a PM version of your favorite pain reliever- gets the job done quicker.
Exercise Daily. Your body slows down as you age. If you aren’t doing anything to keep it fit, you are helping put on the breaks. Try to squeeze in a walk, take ten minutes to get your blood flowing and this will keep your skin glowing.
I’ve found that walking from my desk to the coffee pot several times a day both speeds me up and makes me far less bitchy. It might not qualify as a work out, but I doubt you’ll find anyone who is averse to a less bitchy me.
Drink More Water. Lack of proper hydration leaves your skin looking dry and drab. Drinking enough water helps to plump the skin and wards off some of the signs of aging.
Note to self: Adding gin might make you more pleasant to be around but sort of defeats the purpose, alcohol being a diuretic and all. Stupid diuretics.
Be Inspired. Don’t discount the power of positive thought as it relates to a youthful visage. How many grumpy pusses do you know that look young and perky?
I for one find inspiration in trolling the interwebs seeking out photos of celebs that have had really bad work done. Few things are more inspiring than knowing money can’t buy these overpaid, pompous asshats who contribute little or nothing to the betterment of society, guaranteed success in plastic surgery that you, yourself, would never be able to afford in the first place.
Consult A Beauty Expert. As we age, and our skin changes, it is important to choose the right products to suit your unique beauty needs. Talk to a trained expert at your salon, spa or beauty counter. A few minutes spent getting the right products can take years off your face.
In my case the consultant in the flooring department at Lowes recommended a premixed Spackle and heavy duty spade for application.
Seriously though, as I age I hope that I am doing it with a smidgen of grace. I choose to count my laugh lines as proof that I still have a sense of humor. That said if you know anyone willing to give me free Botox or Juvederm, I’d be all over that shit!