To Boldly Go Where EVERY Mom has Gone Before

Captain’s Log, star date 12.5.2012: 

It is my belief that the inhabitants of this planet have taken measures to ensure my slow decent into madness.

Captain’s Log (supplemental), star date 12.5.2012:

Fears confirmed. Today the youngest offspring of the house of Dee Pa Olah, stepped up the efforts to drive me to insanity. It began with a late rousing from their nightly sleep cycle, which was proceeded by a refusal to enter said cycle the evening prior. This late rousing was then followed by feigned inability to locate the articles of clothing and personal possessions they require for engaging in group educational instruction. Thwarted in this effort by my own ability to locate the required items, efforts to provoke my destruction were doubled. At marker 2.4 blocks from the habitat, subject number one informed me that the morning nutritional supplements had be left on a table in the galley.

Course Correction: Return to habitat at 0755 hours

Course Resumed: Continue approach to the educational colony; Elementary School.  

Captain’s Log (supplemental) star date: 12.05.2012

Not to be thwarted in their efforts, at marker 1.5 from habitat, subject number two informs me that an important item was jettisoned from his gear back at the habitat. He will be denied entry at educational colony, Elementary School, with out said item.

Course Correction: Return to habitat at 0800 hours

Course Resumed: Continue approach to the educational colony; Elementary School.  

Captain’s Log (supplemental) star date: 12.05.2012

We have arrived at educational colony; Elementary School. Subjects directed to disembark the transport craft. Seemingly afflicted with some sort of modified cryogenic stasis, in which they move with extreme slowness, subjects miss the sealing of the airlocks at the educational colony. (Note: Had I plied them with a ruse that candy awaited them just inside the airlock, I have little doubt that they would have moved at near light speed)

Captain’s Log (supplemental) star date: 12.05.2012

Forced to abandon my ship in order to escort the subjects through -the now sealed- airlock of the educational colony. I was not prepared to lead an away party. Instead of my normal uniform I am wearing:

  • University of Nebraska over-sized sweatshirt. Circa 1990 (stained)
  • Yoga pants.
  • White socks.
  • Wedge loafers. (exposing aforementioned socks) 

Furthermore, my hair is contained in what might be termed a “messy” bun. I am wearing no product intended to make me diplomatically presentable. I then encounter no less than five of the crew who man Elementary School. Each of whom are wearing, what seem to be smirks.

Captain’s Log (supplemental) star date: 12.05.2012

It is my belief that the efforts of the inhabitants have been successful. Well played children. Well played.

What’s next… Tribbles?

5 thoughts on “To Boldly Go Where EVERY Mom has Gone Before”

  1. I HATE when I have to get out of the car at school and I’m still in my “yoga pants.” Like I just came from the gym. Really. Thanks for the smile!

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