Scene: 8pm. The family room sofa. My six year old and I snuggled up watching… well I don’t know what, I was pinning things (don’t judge)
Me: “Yes sweetie, what is it, Mommy is pinning ideas for cupcakes. You love cupcakes, don’t cha?”
Little Nugget #4: “Yes, MOTHERRRR, I love cupcakes. Duh! But I have a question.”
Me (taken down a notch over the whole cupcake thing): “Hit me with it sister! What’s this burning question that trumps the glittering promise of impending cupcake reverie?”
Yes, I talk to my children like this. The use of interesting, actual words is part of my futile attempt to ward off the scourge of them becoming fluent in Textish. Example: “How r u 2day?”
Little Nugget #4: “Why is it always about sex?”
(insert needle scratching across the record here)
Me: “WHAT?!! What’s about sex? When is always? Where is this happening?!!” (subtext: who am I going to have to kill and how do I get away with it?)
Little Nugget #4: “It’s these men. The ones on TV who drive the cars and sit in the bathtubs on the beach. Who does that anyway? I’ve never seen a beach tub. It’s always about driving their sex. Sex this and that. It’s just too much. Why don’t ladies get commercials about sex.”
Note to Self: DVR past the TV adds
Me: “Um. Well. Yeah. You see… sometimes, when grownups get older… ah, um… well..”
Little Nugget #4: “Hush mom, my show is back on! And what about those cupcakes?”
Our lesson today parents? It’s all about sex, they’re watching, and cupcakes aren’t always going to be here to save us. I for one plan to outsource the rest of this conversation when it crops up.
and it will
I’m handing it off to her father, because -as she points out- ladies don’t get commercials about sex.