All posts by DiPaola Momma (HNIC)

A lump by any other name..

Let it be said that I dig my boobs. Got your attention huh? In fact I sort of look at them as amazing. Even though I’m a freak of nature sized 38 DD(or for a more roomy fit DDD) and can’t find a freaking bra in any “normal” retail outlet. And lets face it the girls have moved from the penthouse floor but they still haven’t hit the basement. I’d prefer that they have a firmer outlook on life, but hey gang these mammary are no hood ornaments! They nourished four babies for at least a year each. And my hubby still digs em so that makes them amazing in my book.

So imagine me, laying half naked on a cold exam table being felt up by my female doctor.. yeah I know that would work much better if I were 23, svelte, laying on the beach and the other girl had tanning oil.. but get your mind out of the gutter people I’m getting to a serious point! I was shocked when she said that there was a bit of a “patch” she was concerned with and that I was now “of an age” where I should be getting a mammogram! HEY I breast fed woman!! I raised nearly 3 grand and walked a marathon and half for the Avon Breast Cancer foundation!!! I don’t have breast cancer on my mom’s side!!! Where did you get your license to practice medicine?? I don’t have ANY of the “key indicators” for being at risk for breast cancer!

So she didn’t call it a lump but boy has it become one in my brain. Then to add insult to injured psyche she tells me that because I have “dense breast tissue” (code for you’re a fat chick with enormous knockers) I’ll have to have a sonogram as well. Okay so at least that isn’t going to involve smooshing the girls, I can take that. What I can’t take is waiting three freaking weeks to get this done and then waiting another TWO to FOUR days for her to read the results.

I guess this entry is two fold… I get to “put it out there” in cathartic gesture.. and I get to remind all of you laddies out there that no boob is beyond the reach of cancer so go get em checked out.. PLEASE

What exactly is the Target there?

With the holidays fast approaching.. and even faster if you go to some stores that ALREADY have out the Christmas decor!!.. I was thinking about applying for a part-time holiday job just to support my shopping habits. Yeah, like I’ve got time for that. I guess I’m falling prey to the ooogie boogie economic news and thinking it might be smart to get some extra income.

Not wanting to drag my rug rats into a store kicking and screaming (could you imagine the internal dialog of the person accepting my application?…”this woman can’t even deal with her screaming brats. What would she do on senior citizen day?”)..So I found one on-line and off I went. Lord it’s hard to recall names and numbers when you’ve been a stay-at-home haus frau for so long! It wasn’t too bad though until I got to the personal questionnaire part.

I was dumb founded! They asked questions like “What percentage of politicians to you believe are honest” and “How satisfied are you with your life” …huh? What business of yours is it? I fail to see how these questions are relevant to my ability to stock cat litter on a shelf!

I still filled out the darn thing. And I might even be crazy enough to work nights and weekends for 90 days. To tell the truth I mostly want the discounts.. ha! Happy Holidays (thought I’d join the retail trend)

Go to Amazon.. the force is with you!

Once again from the fabulous super-saving brain of the AMAZING Jessica… This week’s SUPER deal!

This time I’ve just plain stolen her deal word for word (e.g. cut and paste). I tried this out and it works! Wooo Hoooo for my Elanore Closet!

Buy 1 Star Wars Lightsaber, Get 1 FreeSpend $25 get FREE Super Saver shippingSpend $50 on “Qualifying Products” get $10 off ***Hasbro games buy 2 get 1 free***The only Qualifying products I could find were the lightsabers and Clone Wars monopoly.I bought 2 Chutes & Ladders games @ $7.99 each and got the Monopoly Clone Wars (reg. $19.99) FREEI bought 1 Star Wars Clone Wars Lightsaber and got a 2nd one FREEThe Free S&H, $10 off w/ $50 qualifying purchase, the FREE game, and FREE 2nd Lightsaber all came off when I went through check out. You see your total right before you click Place Order (or Proceed with Order; can’t remember).To get this deal (or something similar) go to amazon.comClick on Shop All Departments (top left of screen)>Toys, Kids & Baby>Toys and Games Click on Toy Savings Event (top left link)On the right hand side you will see the Hasbro and Star Wars links Good luck!Jessica

Shipping Method:
FREE Super Saver Shipping
Shipping Preference:
Group my items into as few shipments as possible
Subtotal of Items:
$72.95
Shipping & Handling:
$18.47
Super Saver Discount
-$18.47
$10 off
-$10.00
Free Game
-$19.99
Promotion Applied
-$18.49

——
Total for this Order:
$24.47

Mopping up

Okay, back to the tips and tricks portion of our game plan.

I found a GREAT product last week. I will ALWAYS try something out for at the very least a week, before I recommend it to you.. or tell ya to steer clear. This way I give everything a chance and you can be sure I did.

I don’t know about you, but with four kids keeping my floors clean is well… pretty much impossible. I’ve gone through just about every mop or mopping system out there. I’ve even considered calling up the U.S. Navy to find out where the heck to get the stuff they used to make us put on the floors before we spent three hours buffing the broken 80 year old tiles to a reflective glow. I still don’t get the point in that exercise.

I have both laminate and tile in high traffic areas in my house. And by “high traffic” I mean… kids, cats, mud covered clod hoppers, hot wheels race tracks and a cooking style that resembles a Jackson Pollack mural! So you can guess I’ve got the dirt on dirty floors right? I’ve pretty much given up on anything other than slowing the growth of new life forms on the floor. Then I found this new mop. My heart lurched when our gaze first met. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried using a magic eraser sponge. But boy howdy those things are like magic.. huh maybe that’s how they got the name? Anywho.. they make a mop and get this folks.. it works like magic too!

So run out my Mommy minions and grab one. They work with my regular floor cleaner and I also tried their brand. We may not be able to see our reflections like back in my Navy days, but I’m okay with that. At least my floors are clean. And to be honest I’m good with avoiding the wall mirrors and not having to deal with a reflective floor too.

Marsha Marsha Marsha

I had a completely different post all lined up in my busy brain today. I signed on this morning and bam! I couldn’t let this topic go no matter how I tried. Maybe writing about it will erase the mental images..hopefully.

It seems that Maureen McCormick, aka Marsha Brady has written a “tell all” book about her days on The Brady Bunch TV show in the 70s. Come on! Can’t any of my fond childhood memories remain sacred?! First it was Mrs. Brady pulling a Mrs. Robinson with Greg.. eeeewww! Then came the fall of my tweenage crush on Rick Springfield. Turns out he thinks smacking Jessie’s girl around is how to make her “his”. Now floating around out there will be tales of Marsha and Jan doing the “I kissed a girl” thing. And oh BIG surprise people where doing cocaine on set… um it was the 70s people BIG SHOCKER there!

So this family that was so perfect in my 9 year old brain, with the cool ranch style tracked house, the popular kids helping out the dorks, mom and dad still hot for each other, a house maid (lord I wish I had one of those now!) isn’t. Nope it turns out Dad was in the closet. Mom had a thing for her son. The two older daughters where busy questioning their sexuality. Baby Cindy was hitting the hooch. My god what was the house keeper up to? I shutter to think about what the dog did!

Now I haven’t read the book, and don’t have any intent to. I don’t much care what they’ve all done with their lives. What is it with the publishing obsession with the “tell all” genre? Okay, so there is an audience for it. But can I once again just put in my two cents and say with conviction.. eeeewwww!