Category Archives: advice and tips

Don’t Buy Gifts That Suck

As of the writing of this post (in mid-October), it has been holiday shopping season since roughly three months ago.  One may think that the propensity of retailers to start the gift buying frenzy off earlier and earlier would result in fastidiously chosen alms of holiday joy. Yeah, not-so-much. This year I implore you, use your time wisely… don’t buy gifts that suck

True story, three years ago I received exactly eleven scented candles as holiday gifts. Either I really need to step up my housekeeping game or these people needed to stop phoning it in. So, in the spirit of actually wanting to unwrap gifts received, I have agreed to write this post that is sponsored by uncommongoods. (disclosure: I am only accepting their money because I can actually use it to buy the things from them that I had already planned on purchasing – don’t tell Ri she’s getting that F-Bomb paperweight.) 

I started buying gifts from uncommongoods a few years back when Marc asked for rocks for his scotch. Yeah, actual rocks not ice. Turns out there are soapstone rocks out there that chill your scotch without diluting it. Well, now it turns out pretty much everyone knows that but a few years back it was just my man and uncommongoods. Turns out they have like 425 (or a few less) versions available online and in their catalog.  This year I may have to get him a hand-painted Bocce Ball set because he is Italian and I don’t by gifts that suck. 

 

Two years ago I stopped stuffing stockings. Why? Because, nobody stuffed mine, dammit! I mean the kids are now old enough to know that there isn’t a jolly elf out there paying mom and dad’s credit card bills. This should lead one to conclude that when the stockings of everyone but mom are brimming with goodies, it is time to step up to the plate. 

This year I’ll make it easy. I demand wine soap, coasters made from old LPs (and used on my good table!), Yoga Joes and a Moscow Mule Carry-On Kit for all my long-haul flight needs be stuffed in my stocking.  See, it really is not that hard to find something cool. So say it with me people… don’t by gifts that suck! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Review: 2017 Hyundai Santa Fe Limited

Sometimes it is best to start by saying the nicest things first. When it comes to the 2017 Hyundai Santa Fe Limited my highest praise is that it is built by a car company we love. In fact, we currently own two Hyundai vehicles.  There is more to say, though. 

The 2017 Hyundai Santa Fe Limited found its way into our driveway for an extended test drive through my continued collaboration with Drive Shop USA. We put it through the paces and found that some of the upgrades and features were rather impressive.   Others, a bit lacking. 

In keeping with the “nice things first,”  motif I will start by saying that the extended seating and panoramic sunroof were both super-cool. In addition to that, there are some other impressive features; 

things to like about the 2017 hyundai santa fe limited
  • safety features: multiview parking camera, lane departure warning*, automatic emergency braking with pedestrian detection, and adaptive headlights. 
  • seating: the model we drove had 3-row seating for 7. The second row of seats included captain’s chairs. These are a nice change from the typical bench seating in many crossovers. 
  • tech integration: the available Android Auto Phone is fantastic. It allows you to use almost all the features of your android-based phone within safety parameters. Programing road-trip tunes, listening to emails, finding a place to eat, all doable. 
  • touchscreen display: you might not think this is a big deal, but for me it is. I am not a huge fan of cars that are using the turn-dial or mouse-type control mechanisms for the vehicle tech suite. To me, these can be distracting and possibly a tad unsafe. 
  • style: the retooling of the exterior on the 2017 Hyundai Santa Fe Limited gives it a sleeker profile that echoes some of the higher-end crossovers out there. Optional woodgrain trip for the interior (which the model I tested, had) is a nice little luxe touch.

things you need to know about the 2017 hyundai santa fe limited
  • handling: this car was equipped with drive-mode select options; Sport, Eco, and Normal.I’d have expected that Sport mode would have meant better handling but I can’t say that I noticed a difference in any of the modes.
  • console: While I appreciated the 7-inch touchscreen infotainment controller the console is clunky and feels like they put too much into a small space. 
  • seating: captain’s chairs are a great edition, but configuring the seating is confusing and not very user-friendly. 
  • cargo: with all seven seats in use the cargo space in negligible. 

Our affinity for the quality and versatility that Hyundai brings to moderately priced, standard-option packed cars that are great for first-time drivers as well as families, has not diminished. That said, the 2017 Sante Fe Limited didn’t earn a permanent spot in our driveway. 

 

Beyond the use of the vehicle, I haven’t been compensated for this post. Like all my reviews of cars (or anything) all opinions are my own. 

Getting Your Child A U.S. Passport When You Are The Custodial Parent

Getting your child a passport as the custodial parentWhen my eldest daughter turned sixteen, we gave her two options; Have the traditional soiree known as the, “Sweet Sixteen” party, or take an epic trip. It was no surprise that a child who wants to major in International Studies chose the trip. What did surprise me were the hoops we’d have to jump through getting a child passport.

You see I have the honor of being her custodial parent. I’m beyond grateful to my ex-husband for making the sacrifices he has, they’ve allowed me the joy of getting to watch her grow into the amazing woman I know she’ll be. He and I have made every effort to co-parent, which can be hard when you live on opposite coasts.

Bumps in the road, caused by the physical distance between her parents,  have been few and far between. So when it came to getting her passport, neither of us figured there would be any big issues. He’d sign a form, we’d go down to the office, she’d be ready to take off for Ireland.

BUMP!

It turns out that there are a number of extra steps in obtaining a passport for a minor child when their parents are divorced. Here are are some of the questions we had, answers to which came in the form of a lesson learned.

How Long Will It Take?

At the time this post is being written, the average processing time for a passport book (just the book, not the card) is 4 to 6 weeks. You can pay for expedited processing, which will have the passport in your hand in 3 weeks. Need it faster? Go directly to an Agency office – not a third party authorized processing location, like a post office– and you can have it in 8 days, pending approval of need. Generally this means there is some sort of extenuating circumstance, like medical need or bereavement. 

How Much Does It Cost?

For minors (under age 16) the fee for the first application is $95 plus a $25 processing fee. If you need expedited service that will set you back an extra $60. For the most accurate and up-to-date info on fees, be sure to use the calculator on the State Department’s U.S. Passports & International Travel website.  

What Documents Will I Need?

Since this post is specifically about obtaining a passport for a child who’s parents are divorced, I’ll address that.

  1. Proof of Citizenship: Certified U.S. Birth Certificate.  OR Naturalization Document, Certificate of Citizenship, Consular Report of Birth Abroad.  ORIGINALS not copies! You will get your document(s) back with your child’s passport.  
  2. Evidence of Parental Relationship – a document that lists you as the parent: U.S. or foreign birth certificate, adoption decree, divorce/custody decree.
  3. Photo Identification – for all parities. Make a copy of the front AND back of each ID. For example I made copies of her school ID, her father’s and my driver’s licenses.
    NOTE: If the parent who is not present at the appointment does not reside in the same state, you MUST provide TWO forms of ID for them. I missed this information on the website . As a result we had to make a second appointment which delayed things by two more weeks!
  4. Parental Consent – both parents must be present. Here is where it gets complicated for custodial parents (like me). If one parent can not be there you’ll need to have them complete a Form DS-3053: Statement of Consent. This must be notarized
  5. Passport Photo – here is a good resource for DIY passport photos if you’d rather not stop by say a CVS or Costco and have one “professionally” done.
  6. Application Forms – here are links to PDF versions of the forms DS-11 and DS-3035 Statement of Consent DS-5525  Statement of Exigent/Special Family Circumstance. note: all these forms are also available online at the State Department website. ALSO if you are filling the forms out by hand, be SURE to use black ink. YES, I failed to do that as well! 
  7. Passport Fees – See Above.

After a few hiccups, and maybe more than a full hair-pulling sessions, we got her all set to go. It’s off to Ireland for her first visit there, my third and tagging along will be her Grandfather, returning to his ancestral home for the first time. I can’t wait to experience the Emerald Isle through their eyes! 

Note: As we all know, Government processes change often. I’ve provided these tips as a guide based on my personal experience. That said, be sure to double check with the State Department before applying for your child’s passport.

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Stress: There’s An App For That

You looked stressed. In all fairness… don’t we all? Even the most zen among us can’t claim they’re stress free. Where they differ from those of us who find ourselves practically pulling our hair out on the regular is in how they deal with their stress. Me? I go mobile. Believe it or not, there are some great stress management apps out there. 

Recently I embarked on a new professional (and personal) adventure. After over a decade of owning my own consulting business – working mostly from home or far-flung exotic locales like, Dublin and Detroit- I’m back in an office, working for someone else. Part of my new gig entails teaching people what a big role stress plays in our over all health and wellness. 

To be honest, I could be the poster girl for the ill effects of stress. Hair loss? Been there, lost that.  Insomnia? There aren’t sheep enough for all the counting I’ve done. Weight gain? Yeah, we aren’t even going there. This new job has forced be to stare stress right in the baggy, dark-circled eyes and deal with it so I can help others do the same. 

great-stress-managment-appsMy top advice? Find apps that make it easier to coral the cortisol. After all if you’ve got to stress about how to deal with stress you’re sort of doing this whole thing wrong… really wrong. 

Stress: There IS an App for That! 

Headspace – This app is by far my absolute favorite – and not only because I love the cute British man-voice. Headspace is sort of like a gym for your brain. In daily 10-minute guided meditations you’re guided through ways quite and focus the mind. I find that squeezing in a session or two during the work day really helps renew my energy and stave off that afternoon slump in creativity. (If you want to know more, I wrote a full post and review of Headspace over at (cool) progeny)

Mood Panda – When I was young I carried around a beat up old diary with a lock I’m sure my brothers would never have dreamed of picking. I’d pour every unedited thought into those pages as though I were at confession. For a lonely word-nerd that diary was about as close to a BFF as it got.

Mood Panda may not be a trusty, old-school diary but it is a good app for recording your feelings, literally.  Knowing how you’re feeling/felt, when and where you were can be a key step to unlocking the patterns in your stress. From there you can put in some work in avoiding or dealing with those issues in a new way.  Plus… pandas!

Attitudes of Gratitude – A while back my side kick and the brilliant brain responsible for keeping The Nuggs up and running – Cameron of Daddy Bookins fame – had a pretty terrifying health scare. In the midst of going through that he started to do daily posts sharing gratitude for things big and small. It was an exercise in grounding. Be thankful for each day, try not to let stress take that away. 

If you’re not necessarily into public declarations of thankfulness, this could be the app for you. Record at least one daily moment of gratitude. In doing that, you force stress to loosen it’s grip on your day. 

Bright Side Up – I’ve only used this app a few times, but my daughter loves it. Swiping away the clouds and seeing the bright side is something we could all use. 

Just click the clouds to whisk them away and bring out a fresh, original BrightUp written by Amy Spencer that can shift how you feel by suggesting something to do, think or try. Use these BrightUps on their own or as a companion to the book Bright Side Up, full of strategies for looking at your life in an entirely new way.  

I’ll confess that I find myself singing Always Look at the Bright Side of Life from Monty Python’s Life of Brian when I see this app. Don’t judge, laughter is a stress release after all!

Kick the Stress by Playing

Zen Koi – Have you ever spent time in a Japanese garden with a Koi pond? Isn’t there something inherently calming in just being in a place like that? Would that we could all have a Koi pond in our homes, offices or in line at the DMV, eh? While this app may not be the next best thing it certainly is calming.

I’m not much of a gamer but there is something about guiding virtual Koi around this pond, watching them evolve and chilling out to the zen background music that forces you to relax. Stress falls away as you let go and just play. Play is a great way to manage stress. Go ahead, try it.

These are just a few apps I personally like. The beauty of living a mobile lifestyle is you can find the app, vibe and time that suites you. No need to stress about it, just explore!

Disclosure: As a member of a very cool team of influencers for Verizon Wireless I sometimes receive compensation, cool gadgets to test drive, or get attend special events. All opinions entirely my own, based on my experiences, because you deserve nothing less! 

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