Category Archives: veterans

Let The “Crazy” Ones Out

The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone. ~Robin Williams.

I believe that there exists a filament within each of us. Rooted in our hearts, it entwines itself throughout our being as it attaches like an umbilicus to our minds. The molecules within are dense and strong, yet pliable, having the ability to withstand the onslaught of all that makes us. In some of us it can transfigure, becoming gossamer, at times a mere wisp of a root. Barely holding us together.

When that filament thins to transparency, or breaks all together, so much can be lost. 

Heroes

Words

Artists

Lovers

Beauty

Friends

Faith

Children

Hope

As the media cacophony reaches a crescendo about the life and addictions of Robin Williams, I imagine his filament. Growing ever thinner. Fading away.

Time and I again I hear someone on TV say things like, “…recently returned to rehab” or “…struggled with addiction.” Were he to have died from cancer the narrative would undoubtedly have been different.  We’d be hearing things like, “After a long and courageous battle with…” It seems that where mental illness is involved – addiction, depression – there is little room to acknowledge courage. After all a gifted, iconic, beloved, and wealthy star could have no “reason” to take his own life. 

Depression has about as much reason as a cancer cell does.

They both choose their victims at random. Preying upon people from all walks of life with no regard for the size of one’s bank account or contributions to humanity.  They eat away at the people we are, changing the very structure of our being, leaving behind destruction in their wake.

Yet cancer gets walks, runs, standing up to. While depression – mental illness – gets shoved into a dark corner, hidden in a closet, stuffed inside. Why? Does anyone really think that someone chooses mental illness? They just wake up one day and say, “Today I think I’d like to ruin everything I’ve ever worked for, and hey maybe destroy the lives of those who love me while I’m at it?” No, they don’t. The thoughts choose, consuming them like cancer.

Until society as a whole can open that closet, let The “Crazy” Ones out, and treat the suffering as equal to anyone with any other disease they didn’t choose to get, we will find ourselves here again. The shock and sadness will come back. More lives will be lost. 

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America*. It is the 3rd leading cause of death in people between 15 and 24 years old*. Every day 22 American Veterans take their own lives**. 

While we all talk about our favorite Robin Williams movies (mine: Good Will Hunting, Hook, & What Dreams May Come) can we each make a little time to reach out. If you suffer from depression, tell someone. Talk, they want to listen. Talking can help.

Suicidal thoughts are not personal. They don’t mean that the person having them doesn’t love you enough. They are a part of the pathology of an illness that thrives -amongst other things – on isolation, shame, and fear.  If you know someone who is fighting a courageous battle with metal illness, tell them you stand with them. You aren’t expected to understand molecular biology to comfort a friend with cancer, you don’t have to be a psychologist to aid in the war with depression. 

Countless people at this very moment walk around with paper-thin filaments holding them together.

If you need help right now, visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call (800) 273-TALK

 

* Source: Centers for Disease Control

** Source: Veterans Administration

Veteran’s Day: A Letter To Those I Served Alongside

n’s DayDear Brothers and Sisters,

Some of us came for a cause, moved to serve by life-altering happenstance. Others arrived here in the footsteps of long family tradition. Many came in search of purpose, lost and hoping to find ourselves. A few arrived, escorted by lack of choice. We were so young. Children really, holding on with ever slackening grip to the carefree days of youth. No matter how, or from where we came, we would depart with bonds that tether us forever, together.

Through war, in peace, in times of victory and gathered together to ward off the pains of defeat, we are one. We have served this great nation. Some have given far more that others can comprehend, the scars of which they carry both outwardly and within. Yet, not one of us left without the tie that binds. In the hearts of all who have served rests the light of those who went before us, and hope for those to come.

My time in the uniform of the United States Navy, has long since passed. The pride I have in being one amongst you, a member of the family of Veterans who served, and continue to serve, defending the liberty of this country, fighting for the freedom of uncountable others, rendering aid to those in need, will not diminish with time. I am honored to stand along side of each of you, and shall always be.

With Gratitude,

Lara DiPaola
Formerly Aviation Boatswains Mate (90-94)
United States Navy

Photo credit: “Vietnam Reflections” by Lee Teter

 

This Veteran’s Day, would you consider lending your voice, time, support and/or money to charities that help heal the wounds -both seen and unseen- of my fellow veterans?

“Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.” -Michel de Montaigne

Operation Freedom Paws provides service dogs to veterans suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Musicorps is an amazing concept and effort! They teach music to veterans who’s lives have been forever changed by the loss of limbs, traumatic brain injuries, and PTSD. This past week a band of brothers -and actual band– took the stage with Roger Waters of Pink Floyd in the Stand Up For Heroes benefit concert.

Sew Much Comfort makes adaptive clothing for the wounded. I personally would never have thought about a something as simple, yet necessary, as clothing altered for those who have lost limbs. Read more about this wonderful effort in this post by my friend Candace at Army Wives Lives.

For more information on charities that may not have the backing of big corporations or foundations, but could sure use yours, see this post from the indomitable and inspiring Lisa Douglas, military mom to seven and author of one of my favorite blogs, Crazy Adventures in Parenting.

Let us also not forget that though today is Veteran’s Day, no veteran serves alone. They take with them, to all theaters of battle and peace, the hearts and souls of their families. One of my favorite organizations that helps support military families is Operation Shower, read all about the great work they do in this post by the ever gifted (seriously, I want to BE her) Dawn Sandomeno of Party Blueprints.