Have you ever seen the ad for a product called AcipHex? Well just in case you don’t
spend hours a day mindlessly staring at the TV, like moi watch the ads they have a website.
What were the product naming folks, who undoubtedly pull down six figures, thinking when they came up with this one? The phonetic pronunciation of this product name is, and I shit you not, ass-a-fex. Turns out it treats stuff like burping and bloating. I’m thinking you might want to isolate yourself after ingesting this treatment as it certainly sounds like we’re moving DOWN the gastrointestinal railway here. One might just take pause and ask one’s self, “Self, why on earth would they name a product ASS EFFECTS?”
before discussing this option with your doctor as advised in the ad.
So maybe AcipHex is not for you. Fear not however because the savants of the pharmaceutical industry have an even MORE amazing offering for us. According to the pitch for this pill, it can relieve your symptoms AND land you a spouse! Yep single folks there is hope.You not-so-singles who might be looking for a change of scenery should give this one the once over. You see failed relationships are not in fact caused by petty selfishness or unnatural attachments to one’s mother. Money is never the problem and who cares if you can’t keep it in your pants
Tiger. The issue all along was digestive discomfort! Just ask the folks who make Prevacid. Their ad shows us the single woman, in a desperate search for husband NUMBER TWO. After belching in the face of bachelor number one she pops “the pill” and fast forward to the next frame, we find bachelor number two and guess what.. HE LIKED IT SO HE PUT A RING ON IT! Tell it Beyonce!
Ah the wonders of modern medicine, no?
(Disclaimer: I was in no way compensated for this post. In fact if you come looking for me and I’m inexplicably missing without a trace. Start with the drug companies. I think I may have just ticked them off. )
Note to the drug companies: Hey any publicity is good publicity right? And who am I anyway, just some lowly little OLD mom who blogs. Only 6 people read my blog anyway. Two of them are relatives. Three are certifiable. And one is already a devoted customer despite the chance that curing that nasty skin rash might have caused them to sleep-drive to the doctor to see if they did in fact end up with lymphoma and also ask about their swollen tongue and those darn Suicidal Tendencies…”No mom I’m not on drugs, all I wanted was a Pepsi JUST one Pepsi but you couldn’t give it to me!”.. I digress)